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A Wife’s Tale

When I pulled into New Plymouth for the 2023  FCANZ Conference I wasn’t expecting to feel this sense of… hmmm… I’m not actually sure what it was. 

I mean, it’s probably not usual to see the Novotel carpark filled with huge dirty 4WD Utes squeezed into tiny city-car spaces. As I drove past them I recognised the sign-writing of each (oooo they’re here!) Maybe what I felt was a sense of “This is us” – a sense of belonging. 

This really surprised me because I’ve always felt like fencing is Shaun’s thing and I’m just in the background making things flow (and tidying up the mess.)

But this is my third Conference now and I know that when everyone gets here there’s this overwhelming vibe of “We Are All Fencers Together” but in a very quiet, understated way. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Like, walking into the AGM and swimming through the sea of checkered shirts, jeans and dirty work boots. – In. The. Novotel! This is a bunch of people who say “We will wear whatever we want!” or if you’re Shaun, “We will wear what we wore yesterday!” There’s no prestige here. 

This became blatantly obvious when half way through the AGM I saw Noksee take off his shirt to reveal….a black bush singlet! In. The. Novatel! I almost laughed out loud at the bold audacity. Except, there is nothing bold about it. It is just what we do around here.  This is refreshing, as a woman, to know that whatever I want to wear to conference is ok. Jeans – tick. Trackies – tick. Designer dress – tick. Black singlet – double tick (I should probably test this statement next year.) There’s no dress code. You’re welcomed as you are. 

This is what I love about FCANZ Conferences. The people are just down-to-earth-real and all joined in the desire to enhance the fencing industry. Even board members don’t put themselves on a pedestal. They just show up and say their bit, humbly and humorously, despite the enormous amount of effort they’ve put in over the year. They don’t do it for an accolade. They simply want to see the fencing industry grow in value. Which means they want to see us be more valued. Ka pai guys. 

The FCANZ partners contribute to this as well. They’re not sales-reppy, but just ‘one of the gang’ and voice their ideas for industry growth as passionately as we do. However, once quiz night starts, it’s very much dog eat dog. I had a very vocal, hilarious and memorable partner at my table who would competitively fist pump and seat-jump each time we got a question right. 

The speaker, Stephen Caunter, who hilariously kept the room enthralled for two hours, talked about the benefits of helping staff to feel connected, that they are ‘a part of something’. And Craig “Wiggy” Wiggins, creator of Lean on a Gate, Talk to a Mate – a charity to raise awareness of mental health and prevention of suicide – talked about connection too. 

A sense of belonging is when you feel unity and connection. We are hard wired this way because when we were cavemen it was awfully unsafe to be isolated or outcast and not have the protection of our clan. When we feel like we belong we feel safe and can relax. In this way, it can also be a protective factor, helping us manage stress, creating resilience, increasing happiness and mental health. Research shows that when we feel like we lack a sense of belonging we lose purpose and meaning to our lives, often leading to depression. 

So, when our son turned up on the last day to be present for his nomination for the Emerging Talent – Youth Award, I was not surprised to hear him say the next day “This is cool mum. Everyone here is so friendly and interested in my work and keen to yarn about fencing.” It was his first time at Conference and yet he found it so easy to belong.

And that’s the extra special thing about belonging to FCANZ and coming to Conference, is that not only do you ‘fit in’ regardless of what kind of fencing you do, how new you are, how old or young you are, or what you’re wearing, but you ‘belong’ from the moment you drive your big dirty Ute into the carpark. 

Come to Conference next year. I’d love to see you there. You’ll find me. I might be in a black bush singlet. Hopefully you don’t confuse me for Noksee. 

Article written by Angelena Davies
www.daviesfencing.com