Normally when Shaun gets home from a hunting trip he is satisfied, smelly and tired. This time, when he arrived home, he was satisfied, smelly but enlivened.
He had something to tell me.
“Guess what?” he asked.
“You shot a deer”, I stated.
“Yes, but guess what else?”
“You shot two deer,” I teased him.
“Yes, but also,” he was so keen to get his story out, “I met someone interesting.”
Now, this could be a good story. He was on a hunting trip with a mate and his mate’s mates he hadn’t met before.
“So, there was one guy there and we hit it off, he kinda felt, like, really familiar. He asked me what I did, and when I said I was a fencer, he asked me if I knew his uncle who was a fencer.”
Huh? I was momentarily confused with the story until Shaun finished with: “And I said ‘F*ck off he’s my uncle’, and he said, ‘Nah f*ck off, he’s MY uncle!’”
And this is how Shaun found out he had a cousin, who also works on farms and does fencing.
This same guy has a brother (another cousin for Shaun) who also works in a similar industry, clearing fence lines in diggers. So, when Shaun was under the pump at work one time, he rang this long-lost cousin’s brother he’d never met and asked him to come and work for us for a week. Which he did. And they got on like a house on fire.
It seems to run in families, fencing.
Shaun has another fencing cousin, who has a husband and a son who all fence too. They are long-time in the game and were the ones who introduced fencing to Shaun as a teenager in his school holidays.
He remembers having to re-do whole fence lines (in his own time, unpaid) because it wasn’t up to standard. He learnt the importance of quality and a good work ethic, which put him in a good place when he set up his own fencing business 20-odd years later. He remembers being a few months into the new business and needing a tractor for a job, he bought their hand-me-down Massey Fergusson. It was Shaun’s absolute pride and joy. He would often park it in the driveway when I wasn’t home, banishing my Mitsubishi out to the roadside.
These cousins have been an incredible source of support for us. Shaun rings them often for advice on quoting, on how-to knowledge, to share wins and also the dark days.
Shaun reconnected with another cousin a few years ago. And he’s a fencer too. And there’s another uncle too. Fieldays is like a family reunion.
It was no surprise then, when our son left school not knowing what he wanted to do and decided to work for Dad till he figured it out. Six years later he had his Level 3 Fencing Certificate and was a nominee for FCANZ Emerging Talent – Youth award in 2023. Working together every day could have gone either way, but luckily for us it turned out good, and Dad and son have a very close relationship now.
As a wife, I really value Shaun’s fencing relatives. Not only are they a great support, but they also provide that wonderful sense of belonging that we humans need. Having a sense of belonging – to a family, a group, an organisation – is a primal instinct that we developed as cavemen, it told us that if there was danger, or famine, then we would have a better chance of survival if we were in a group. So, feeling like we belong gives us a sense of safety and closeness. It’s also what many human development experts tell us is needed for our mental health. If you belong to something, then you won’t fall for anything.
Written by Angelena Davies
Angelena Davies is a wife and mum who happens to have a Masters degree in Social Sciences. Alongside running Davies Fencing she is also a coach, facilitator and author helping children and adults to access “flow” so their lives are easier and more fun.
Published in WIRED issue 75/December 2024 by Fencing Contractors Association NZ
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