By the time this goes to print, most people will have forgotten what their New Year’s resolution was and will be back in the grind of working to stay afloat or to buy that dream boat or toy.
We get wrapped up in the day-to-day life of survival and the pressure of commitments until some date, event, or moment in time makes us reassess who we are and what we do. The old cliché comes out: “What is your why?”
But it is a question that needs an answer to really balance your own needs, versus the needs of your career or business. Your ‘Why’ may change depending on what stage in life you are and what personal position you may now sit in. For example, the young fencer coming out of school will have desires, hopes and ambition. A life of unknowns, with responsibility only for their own needs – and perhaps a date on Friday night.
The 40-year-old business owner with five staff, machinery and a family is at the other end of the spectrum. I expect those reading this will know the pressure this stage of life brings and remember the pressure of dating with a dry smile.
But just as the younger version of you put your best foot forward on those Friday nights to portray strength and confidence,
the older version of you needs to do the same, to be the best you can be for the many aspects of your life now.
What if this year wasn’t about being everything for everyone? What if it was about tuning in – to YOUR needs, YOUR limits, and YOUR wellbeing? Showing up for yourself doesn’t have to mean dramatic change. Sometimes it looks like going to bed earlier. Saying no when something’s too much. Making time for things that matter to you. Speaking up when something’s not right, especially if that’s to do with your own wellbeing. It means recognising that your needs matter too – you don’t have to wait until you’re completely burnt out to honour them.
This year will be a big year for me and the team at Lean on a Gate. I am a little bit anxious about the amount of work to be delivered – generated by the needs of so many we have spoken to.
What have we created? A training programme for rural professionals and those in the service industries who regularly visit those in need or who work with many who could use a supportive hand on their back. But it’s not just us anymore; the partnership with Mates in Construction and their support networks for those who go through the training programme will be a game changer in rural mental health, and this helps me quieten that anxiety. My biggest worry was what would happen to the work we do if I, or one of the team at LOAG, wasn’t able to continue it. This new partnership gives that work longevity and stability.
I prioritised my family time this Christmas with a trip away; three horses in a float and the three ladies in my life who often miss out due to my commitments. Hardly any arguments, great friends to share meals with and to introduce our girls to, and some success and growth in their riding and competing. I wasn’t that keen to go, due to my having moved away from that part of my life recently. But it was refreshing: my eldest daughter showed just how competitive and determined she is (no wonder we clash occasionally); my youngest daughter winning the biggest smile competition every time she rode; and my wife – who puts everything into ‘us’ – got to enjoy her passion, with the support that allowed her a less stressful trip and to enjoy her moments of happiness as we travelled. Right there is my new ‘Why’.
So for me, the focus has changed. The work we do in the mental health space needs me to focus more on what makes me happy. Supporting my family, a bit of fishing and hunting where possible, and of course the knowledge that what we do matters. (If anyone is looking for a mate on a boat or for a wee hunt, please let me know, shameless plug!).
I had very limited success on Friday nights, as I remember, but they say it’s all about the effort you put in. Thank goodness we find worthy causes as we age and focus on more important things. What I have found is that life finds its own path, and whatever you do matters!
This year, make space for yourself. The people around you benefit when you’re looking after yourself too. www.leanonagate.co.nz
Published in WIRED issue 80/March 2026 by Fencing Contractors Association NZ
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